I don’t know about you but I have a habit of doing things on my own. All alone. So when I found myself dealing with overwhelming fear (seemingly irrational fear now that I look back on it) I thought I’d do more of the same. Deal with it on my own.
Today I started a new job. Last night I was a wreck. I don’t ever remember feeling so worried about starting a new job before. Even when I was stepping into something I knew absolutely nothing about, I’ve always kind of knew I could do it. But last night was something else. The fear engulfed me, words of torment flooded me.
What if I’m not good enough. What if I don’t get it fast enough? What if I’m not smart enough?
These thoughts and so many more kept coming and I felt like I was drowning in it. The not-so-funny thing about it is that I knew deep down inside that I am totally capable but that voice was so easily downed by the screaming voices telling me that I’m not good enough.
In the past I’d typically process this alone but this time was different so I did something different: I reached out for support. I texted my prayer partner and let her know what was going on. Through our talk and prayer time I learned a few important lessons:
1. Suffering alone is a choice.
2. If the thoughts in your head are things you would NEVER say to a child, STOP. Find a way to stop.
3. Support is around you all the time, you just have to be open to it and ask for it. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. 🙂
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NKJ)
Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Ephesians 4:29 (MSG)